I'M SAM AND THIS SHIT IS SOOOO CASH

Is exactly what you are. Accept my ‘Least entertainment value trophy’ humbly from your’s truly. Seriously, shit is getting way too boring now. My sense of an update is leaving the account to rot for a good few months before suddenly clicking and thinking ‘Oh crap! I need to update it!’ I mean it doesn’t really matter because noone reads a damn thing anyway *plays smallest violin* out of interest, it’s being renewed for what, the 5th time now? because i’m promoting my new vlogging channel.

Hit up Skepticalchimp on youtube. I wouldn’t go as far as to say daily because we all know what happened when I stated that at the starting point of posting here but i will focus 100%…(Overassessing), 90%…(Gives a slight impression that i’ll be partying with 10% most of the time) 50%…(Give a very strong impression that I won’t do shit but increasing value by half appears to be a lot and i can surprise viewers with 20 videos a week.)

Yep. And yeah.

http://www.youtube.com/user/SkepticalChimp

HEY Y’ALLLLLLL

Sorry that I haven’t been posting as much as desired by the thousands of followers I have. I owe it to all of you guys to post more SHIT. Because that’s why we’re here isn’t it? To give insight into all the gigantic mass of SHIT that resides and sloshes around in our lonesome petty lives. And to discuss said SHIT with every other person who pretentiously posts their SHIT in hoping that they are now famous and awesome is just well…SHIT.
So I returned from an amazing week with my girlfriend in Torquay. We had one hell of a time and the image above is just something I discovered one morning and deliberated it for several hours wondering seriously what the fuck had happened. So, the fridge was pretty average yaknow…just a fucking fridge, I mean what’s new, eh? Wrong. Somehow this little food cooling box froze one of my drinks. I don’t have a clue either, the other drinks were fine.
So, I grab a fruitshoot and then I’m like…”Hey, this feels pretty heavy.” I have a look and there’s a giant block of ice just sitting there inside. Noone could force that shit through. So I took a picture. Pretty weird, huh?
So much cool shit happened on holiday. As a sidenote (seeing as I’m 3 weeks late on the holiday subject) My girlfriend’s birthday is n 3 days. I’ve bought some jewelry, emo bags, headband, earings, vacuum cleaner, kettle, microwave, two tickets to Cannibal Corpse so me and my friend can go. The essentials. Well, I have to quit posting shit- Chicken dinner. Peace.

REALTIME FUCKING OWNS!

Or Fly on the wall or…I don’t know. Something that is fly related because as of this morning, that is pretty much why I’m up at 9 right now and not 1 in the afternoon as usual. So, I’m watching Freddy got fingered, (Now the title seems pretty good, eh? no? okay.) and then when i notice there’s a fly buzzing around. My lack of bathing for three days is most certainly the cause of this. It’s not because I’m a dirty hobo, well partly but because I’ve had my girlfriend over and I never seem to bother grooming myself if someone is staying the night. Anyway, back on topic, I go to sleep at 4ish because I like fucking about on the internets because it makes me seem like I have a purpose, a faculty for self-loathing and downing dr pepper whilst fapping off to mrweebl on Youtube.
Long story short, I wake up at 7 because a fly is buzzing around my ear. Now, the frightening part about this for me moreso is the fact that I’m an incredibly deep sleeper and once on holiday, my mate found me asleep so he kicked my legs and shouted in my face for at least 20 minutes only to discover me still in an immobile state of rest. So…this brings forth the inevitable assumption that the fly must of been traversing my ear canal for quite some fucking time, laying eggs in my brain and shit.
Calling me crazy? Fuck you, it’s the government that are sending bugs down to stream every thought I have. You’re next…yes YOU! reading this right now…with the red shirt on. (If I have that right, I’m fucking God.)

Welsh oral exam.

No that isn’t a sexual term although I’d rather suck on the hairy gargantuan gorrila balls of mr. Scourfield than cough up pathetic excuses for a language.

Fuckin’ compulsary? Fuck you, school. Fuck you.

You know that little lazy feeling where you feel the need to do something very productive but you won’t because…well, you’re just too lazy? Then you’re sharing the same mood as yours truly right about now. It’s a perfectly beautiful sunny day and I’m in the house. My girlfriend is in school and I dunno what my friends are doing but fuck, this just rims seriously.
I hope alot of you are aware that this is also prime shrooming season and I’m looking forward to picking some liberty caps. They’re not in my garden but I saw some near my school the other day so I’ll just go to that town instead.

ANYWHHHHHHHHHHHAY *Necessary emphasis on ‘w’*
What else? Been having movie nights and chatting on video call, msn. I just had an egg sandwich and whilst I was in the bath earlier, a spider almost fell but then he was powerful enough to remain climbing. MLIA.

Yes! I fucking love it when someone is in a mood with me and won’t even tell me why.

When I hear the word ‘apprentice’, I instantly picture a student at a wizard’s guild.
My friend said instead of staying for 6th form or going to college, he’s going to work with his dad as an apprentice. I automatically thought of him bubbling shit together in an alchemist’s emporium.
Yeah.

Okay well, I’m in a really joyful mood right now so I’m giving Tumblr a chance. A couple of days ago I made a post which lasted almost half an hour’s read and then I clicked the alluring ‘create post’ button only to discover a fucking error page. Nice one there David Karp! I know where you live and I’ll smash your pretentious artfag bloated cheeks in with your macbook pro.
Anyway, while my original purpose of this post is now irrelevant due to *ahem* a certain mishap involving the blogging process, (something about WoW and me being unaccepted because I’m emo…but not really but sort’ve but no.)

Anyway, post more shit soon. I need to shoot in a non-euphemistic way.